12.11.11

selamat tinggal tok...im gonna miss u...i was at yogjakarta when i got the news..al-fatihah wat arwah yg selame ni tlh byk menjage dan menyayangi kami...the last time i saw her was at kelana jaya's tabung haji...bersyukur sgt sbb dpt pegi anta tok wat haji. at least i get to see her for the last time. yes i feel so sad but yet she gets to die in Mecca and the lucky thing is while she is performing her haji. may Allah bless her..amin. lps nie blk kg akn rs sunyi bcoz she was the reason everyone was there T_T. aritu blk raye aji pon rs sunyi je kg...xsangke akn sunyi selame-lamenye. she will be remembered and semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohNya..amin.

ReDempTion

dear bloggie...today, at dis moment i'm feeling really sad...all of a sudden...i felt like i've done the worst mistakes ever in my life...i hav so many secrets in my life dat i can't tell....dis is how my life was and is still are...i didnt mean for dis things to happen...it just did...and i can't turn back...the only thing dat i can do now is never repeat it...INSAF...some things can't be avoided..some things can...we just hav to hav the guts to do it....with the help of others around us...and the most important thing is ourselves. we hav to learn from other people's mistakes....people were not born to be MAKSUM...but it is not an excuse to do mistakes....we may walk on the wrong path but one day, we must realize dat we hav to walk back on the correct path...our lives on this earth is not forever....at any time, the clock is ticking...we may not know when we will be going but we must prepare ourselves at all time....i hope dat my talk of redemption is for real....i really mean it but i just need time~the end

PLZ UNDERSTAND

i dono wats got into me...really...why the sudden change...i didnt ask for it but it came...i knew it was coming anyway...but i put it aside hoping dat everything would be alrite...but as time passes, it didnt turn out the way i want it to be...it became worse...becoz it involves other peoples feelings...i didnt meant it to happen...now i feel really guilty...i wish i didnt take dat step from the beginning. now everybody's gona get hurt...i always ask myself...whether to hurt my heart or someone's. if i chose to hurts others, its not fair for them but if i choose to hurt myself...i will nvr be happy...i can act happy and be a hypocrite for the rest of my life but i dont want dat to happen....it really is not fair...FOR ME....now wat i want is just ME AND FREEDOM. I WANT MY LIFE BACK....my life where i dont have to tink about anyone except my family and my career..im in a stress zone now....would someone help...i hope dat someone would understand....sometime we have to face the sadness in our life although its gona hurt badly....wat im doing is to make sure you wont get hurt in the future...TRUST ME....im not for you...no one is~the end

d0n't feel the same way

i don't know wat got in my mind....but i just don't feel the same way...i tried but i can't keep lying...whether i break the heart or torture mine...wat do i have to do to make it alright?to make it better....if we chose to say it out....people will tink dat we are selfish but if i keep it in my heart, dat would make me a liar...i really don't know wat to do....i don't want anymore of dis...i want it to go away...i want a life where i can live my life....JUST ME.....dis cannot prolonge any longer...i hav to tell dat person...for the sake of his and for the sake of mine....I'M REALLY SORRY~the end

the cheat and the lie

yesterday i f0und 0ut b0ut s0mething. s0mething i new bef0re f0r centurys but was t0 reluctant t0 believe. why????bec0z i trusted him...and in the end..i'm hurt..badly...it will take time t0 rec0ver but i will try =(. i will n0t tell everything here bc0z dats n0t my way 0f d0ing s0. i h0pe he's happy f0r d0ing all th0se things t0 me~the end

S0mething To THinK Ab0uT

suddenly i felt sad b0ut myself....really sad....i realized dat we d0n't hav much time in dis w0rld.why are we b0thering t0 impress 0urselves and 0thers while we kn0w everything d0esn't last. everthing is called lusk. we kn0w it but we still d0 it...WHY???? h0w i wish dat i was da 0ld me. where i didn't care b0ut fashi0n, style, bf's, m0ney, s0cialize and l0ts m0re dat d0esn't bring any benefit t0 me. i just want t0 spend my time with my family. the things dat i'm really afraid 0f is if i wake up 0ne m0rning and finding 0ut dat 0ne 0f them is n0t here anym0re. dis all came t0 me in a sudden th0ught. h0w t0 change my life with0ut having t0 pretend anym0re. h0w t0 d0 things where i'm n0t attach t0 rules n regulati0ns. i want 0ut. i want freed0m. when will i get dat? i miss my life bef0re....please give me th0se time back and i'll treasure it f0rever~the end

dissap0inted

a call and a text just t0 ask f0r a letter f0rmat...hrrmmmm..=(

mY ArT w0Rk

dis pic kt ats ade makne tersendiri.so many smpai xlarat nk tulis.dats y just lukis.i'm n0t an artist but just learning t0 d0 a little art.hehe...

Suatu Kehilangan

yesterday....the day dat i will never f0rget. the day 0f tragic. the day 0f sadness. the day 0f 0ur l0st. a bel0ved instruct0r. wh0 taught us fr0m zer0 t0 having a career. a pil0t. he was a man 0f h0nor and respect. he was like a father t0 us. wh0 was always with us. thr0ugh happy and sadness. a teacher. wh0 taught us everthing dat we had t0 kn0w. a br0ther. wh0 was always there t0 talk t0 us and share experiences. i still remember back in al0r star, he was always hanging ar0und with my c0ursemate. in a place what we called bfs. nescafe ice...he w0uld say after each s0rtie. i als0 remember h0w he always said ab0ut h0w he wanted t0 die. die in a unif0rm. die in a respective way. and Allah fulfill his wish. but we didn't aspect dat it w0uld be dis s00n. he als0 said dat after he c0mpleted 0ur course in flying, he will finish his duty. and it's true. we g0t 0ur wings and we l0st him. we didn't even get t0 say thanks and g00dbye t0 y0u sir. its been 3 weeks since we the transp0rt pil0t didn't see y0u....:(. if 0nly we were in al0r star and didn't c0me yet t0 kuching...we c0uld see him f0r the last time. until n0w, i still cann0t accept the fact dat he's n0t in dis w0rld anym0re. lets all sedekah al-fatihah. sem0ga r0hnya diberkati dan dirahmati Allah. amin. he left dis w0rld with a wife and 3 childrens. and all 0f them are still little. the y0ungest. wh0 was 0nly b0rn last year. kesian betul dkt dorg. i h0pe dat they can carry 0n with their lives and s0meday kn0w what a great and caring father they had. MEJ MOHD ZULRIHAN BIN JUSOH RMAF. a name dat will always be remembered in the diary 0f c0use 70. the gryph0n. when thinking 0f y0ur name, tears roll d0wn my cheek. Thank y0u sir. f0r helping us get 0ur wing and f0r really understanding the life 0f CSE 70.